Have you ever wished if you only knew then what you know now? Do you ever think about, as a child, how differently you might have done things, or said things, if you had known how they were going to turn out? Would we have changed anything, I don’t know. We sure wouldn’t have learned the lessons we did, if we were given all the warnings and the answers. I do wish, however, that I had loved myself a little bit more when I was little. I don’t mean in a selfish, conceited sort of manner, but in a healthy, self love kind of way. I wish that I had not tried so hard to fit in, when I was doing just fine on my own. I wish that, despite feeling inferior to my older siblings in my parents’ eyes, that I knew I was as worthy of their love as my sister and brother were. I would
tell little me that it’s ok to march to the beat of your own drum and to never worry if you marched outside the lines. If I were to write little me a letter, I’d say all of the above and then some. I’d say, you will go through trials and tribulations like no other, but they will shape you and mold you into a most compassionate human being. Something no amount of money, looks, social status or college degrees could buy you. I would tell me that you will fall down seven times and get up on the eighth, time and time again, and that you will do this because you are a fighter. I would write that there will be people throughout your life who will never fully accept or respect you, simply because you stand up for yourself and speak your own mind, but to never let that take you down to their level. I would tell me that I am proud of you for hanging in there, as a child and as you grew into an adult. For realizing that you are not perfect, and never will be. Proud of you for never claiming to be faultless, and for seeking help for mental health when you know you have issues to work on. And even more proud for never being ashamed of that.
Dear little me, I could go on and on, but will save the rest for another time, as there will be more life lessons to study and add to your story. To big me, never lose sight of the little me in you. Remember that each and every step you have taken has brought you to the here and now. Take those steps and never worry if your path isn’t straight. Take those steps and be proud of not only where they’ve gotten you, but where they will take you. Be proud of your heart and mind, but never lose sight of your place in this big world. Be humble and kind. Be thankful. Be you.
Until next time.